Rewrite and submit final draft with comments to instructor.

Online Technologies

When the second assignment was emailed to the students, they had been in class for approximately one month. Ideally, the technology of the class should not have been an issue at that point in the semester. And for the most part, "talk" about technology did cease, except in a few instances.

Difficulties in Interpretation of Assignments. Julie, who seemed to have consistent technological problems, was one of the few to vocalize her problem in understanding the assignment. She emailed the group,

I have a question on assignment paper #2. Do we just talk about 1 subject or talk about 2 different subjects. Example #1, me working at a balloon shop with a close family. Example #2, me working at a balloon shop with a close family and comparing it to my last job working at a warehouse/retail auto parts place with different coworkers than the job now. Explain briefly.

The answer she received from Dr. Sutherland must have satisfied her, as she displayed no further confusion. He responded,

You have some options. You could compare/contrast the working relationships in the balloon shop and in the auto parts shop. Any fascinating, interesting discoveries or insights? Or you could write about your experiences working with family in the balloon shop. Did you learn something about working with family? Or about your family?

Rhonda, also felt confused, as indicated by her message to the teacher, "I'm sorry Mr. Sutherland. I know that you have tried very hard to make everything very clear to us. But I just can't seem to keep it quite straight."

    Reading and Understanding Online Text. Monica continued to have trouble reading. She noted, "I fell into sleep when I reading the E-mail." Falling asleep while reading can be a common symptom of a poor reader (Rubin, 1992). Only one other student, a non-participant, noted his discomfort with reading and deciphering email during Assignment Two.

    "Etalk" Versus Rhetoric. In this category of informal writing, Steve persisted in his "etalk." In response to a comment by Robert regarding skateboarding, he responded, "In a sick way, I see your point. What's worse is, that I completely agree with you. sicko." In response to a message from Cassandra where she called into question one of his terms, "Steve, What does lil mean? I cannot find such word in the dictionary. Is it a new word?" He responded, "LIL, as in little, but shorter and cuter . . . (grinz)." We see that Steve still doesn't see the need to temper his "etalk" in favor of a more formal diction. This is especially apparent in the next category.

    Problems of Unstructured Time and the "Newness". In response to a peer's comments about online use, Steve wrote, "I can fully empathize with ya, and your on-line activities. I had to cut back some myself. Often times my friends and I would and could go for 18 hours on-line straight. (what a rush . . .)." Robert also felt inspired to join this discussion, "I know what you mean about those chat rooms. I can stay on a chat room from guam for many hours and they are very addicting. Hey, I also go to the chat rooms on aolg." Both of these young men, accustomed to computers and the WWW, admitted to spending their spare time in chatting and playing on the computer. Melinda also disclosed that she was using the Internet a bit too much, "I spend half my time on the internet just fooling when I should be thinking about English or some other class." However, computer comfort level does not equate to problem-free computer usage.

    Method of Delivery: Technology. When one of the non-participants wrote about the vast amount of email messages he felt drowned by each day, Robert wrote, "I AGREE WITH YOU, JUST OVER THE WEEKEND I RECEIVED OVER 90 MESSAGES!!!!! TOO MANY FOR ME TO READ . . . .  AHHHHHHHH!!!!" Compare this to the messages from others who do not profess to be experts with computers. Julie offered,

I think you should try to keep looking at your email at least once a day or maybe every other day. I started off in the beginning receiving a lot of email, but I made an attempt to check my email every other day. So far it's been working out fine! With me having seven classes, I'm handling it. I think you all can manage this! Give it a try!

And Melinda, another student who had technological troubles in the beginning suggested,

The only way you're ever going to keep up with your mail is read it several times a day. Also trash anything that you didn't write that does not pertain to what you're doing. Any way nobody can have as much mail as my mother. At one time she had a couple thousand in her in box that needed to be read. Actually I sort of like getting lots of mail. Makes me feel needed. Before this class I would only get a couple of messages a week. The ones I did get were mostly from my mom.

This is not to say participants still weren't suffering from the vagaries of technology. Julie, shortly before the message above, had computer trouble. In a note to the class, she explained,

Sorry about not emailing you about my subject, but something is wrong with my computer. I don't know when I'll be emailing my subject or more comments on the rest of your papers and also my questiong re fragments and run-ons on chaps 13 & 14. I'll try to as soon as my computer works with me. Sorry again! Jon, is it possible if I can turn all my work in by Tuesday? My brother is trying to fix it right now. I don't even know if this message will go through.

Towards the end of the assignment, she had trouble with email, "Mr. Sutherland: My computer is not receiving any email or is not letting me email to E100I-L@houd.edu. Why is that?"

Moreover, some students had trouble when receiving work from peers. For example, one non-participant questioned the strange symbols that often accompanied Steve's messages. Steve replied,

I apologize for the inconvienience this causes all of you. I have just recently upgraded my browser to the Beta test version of the Netscape Communicator. I know most of you don't know or rather not care even, but, I am also using their new e-mail software that comes with it. It reads HTML codes, and uses links from the E-mail directly. Isn't that wonderful . . .? Anyways that is the reason why you get those funny things before the actual mail. Once again, sorry for any inconvienience, aLoHa, -Steve p.s. To… and all the rest of you who are hardcore net, and on-line freaks like me, go and check out the Netscape Communicator.

That is not to say students had only complaints about the technology of the class. As noted above both Julie and Melinda liked receiving email. Melinda remarked about another aspect which worked well for her, "It's nice to know what the computer is talking about when I run grammatik and it tells me I have a sentence fragment."

Process: Writing and Pedagogy

As Assignment Two progressed, a few students did begin to make explicit their writing processes. Melinda, in reflexive mode, stated,

You just have to write down whatever comes to your mind. I know this sounds silly but don't think to hard about your subject. Just relax and the right thoughts will come to you. It takes a bit of faith. My bestideas come late at night when I'm trying to relax so I can sleep. The thing is you probaly get alot of ideas but you don't remember them. Just relax, think happy thoughts and eventually it'll come to you.

This comment made by Melinda to a student having trouble with the writing process offered a clear statement of how to break through a writer's block. Once Melinda offered her advice, Steve discussed his process,

I think Melinda nailed it on the head. As for me I just write whatevers in my head. Or whatever I manage to catch, and type down. I've just got a thousand and one things to say about everything, I try to eliminate the junk from the good, and then I just pour it on. After that I edit whatevers and Voila!

While Steve and Melinda offered suggestions about the actual writing process, others displayed theirs in action. Monica told the class, as she struggled again with her own processes, "I been thinking about this thesis for whole night and the whold day, finally I come up a thesis while I am doing my RD2." She followed this with asking peers for their advice about the thesis. Turning to an audience in extensive mode, she requested, "I am not sure is this a proper Thesis in this essay, please help me on this." Later, she reflexively told Steve, "Freewriting is a best start to write a essay, because you can just write what ever you want and do not have to worry about grammer. You always can go back to see what you can eliminate."

Julie also struggled. She submitted her thesis to the class, "Thesis: Working at 'H. and S. Designs' has a great impact on my life because my best friend and her family influences me a great deal." Then followed with a brief comment about how she discovered the topic, "This is something I just came up from the top of my head." Immediately, she expressed her doubt, "It may not be a thesis, I don't know," and requested help, "Can you folks help?" Steve offered his own help and encouragement, "As far as your thesis goes . . . . How did they influence you . . .? In a good way . . .? If so how about some examples. The impact they have and had on your life, was that good also, or bad. Can't wait to hear about it . . . ." This is only direct response that she received. Other students discussed the mechanics of writing.

Sue in the extensive mode offered some of what she was learning about the structure of the essay, "I didn't know that you had to begin a new paragraph for each new speaker. Is the reason because it makes the dialogue easier to read, or that it stands out more?" Melinda, however, felt it necessary to comment upon the mechanical concerns of writing, "Grammer drives me up the wall."

Product: Assignments

Of all the students, only Julie, Melinda, and Monica completed all of these tasks. Rhonda submitted a plan, a thesis and a final draft, with no comments to others. Cassandra submitted a thesis, a plan, and a rough draft but no final draft. She also offered comments on the text and a series of one-line comments on peer topics, "Melinda. Your outline is very interesting indeed. Any chance of developing it into something like Seinfeld?" and "Sue, What is your work? You said your paper would be reflective. Was there a mentor among your co-workers?" However, she did not give feedback on any peer drafts. Carl, on the other hand, commented upon Monica's, Steve's, and Melinda's proposed topics and gave feedback on all submitted second drafts. He submitted his own thesis, essay plan, response, first draft, second draft and final draft. Sue started well, sending in her thesis and plan, and commenting on everyone else's. However, she ended up only completing the textbook assignment and one draft. She gave general feedback on peer drafts. Robert turned in a thesis and plan, a first draft. He commented about Julie's topic but gave no feedback to anyone.

A few days before the final draft was due, the students received this message from their instructor,

Because of my delay, I'm going to extend the deadline for turning in FD2 until midnight Thursday, Feb 27. I'll be working on my comments re your RD2s this evening, and I should be able to get them out to you by tomorrow morning. I'm about half way through your FD1s and should have them done by this Friday. My apologies for the delay in getting them back to you.

Of note is the instructor had not returned their first papers before their second paper was due. On the entrance survey, all but two of the students indicated that they needed faculty comments immediately or within a few days. One student complained directly to me:

It is also hard for me to feel motivated to meet my deadlines, when I do not get prompt responses from my teacher, and cannot seem to reach him in his office ever. I do not also get any grades on my papers promptly, so I have nothing to gage my next paper on.

In terms of other assignments, students responded in various ways. One chapter in the text concerned the proper use of quotations. Some students chose to paraphrase the chapter; others gave responses. Steve wrote, "I understand proper quoting techniques, and how to use the quotation marks in long passages. For instance quoting prose passages and proper indentations. These things I did not know."

Melinda also added what worked well in the text, "The section on research papers was very enlightening. It's nice to see a book where they list all the resources you can use." Monica chose to ask questions,

I always mix up the puncation in the dialogue, is it always true the punctuation have to put before the close quotation mark? Usually how long for the resarch paper? Are we always have to do the outline first before doing the draft?

During Assignment Two, Dr. Sutherland sent out a long email message in response to a student's inquiry about late work. In this note, he stated that each student was allowed three twenty-four hour extensions on any work that was due. The same student asked for clarification about deadlines and assignments, and Dr. Sutherland replied, "I think it's been clear to everyone that I expect you to post comments or questions about your readings. This is what the other students have been doing -- and I'm sure you've been reading their comments." He continued in this vein, restating that deadlines were essential to the class.

Communication

Interestingly enough, Dr. Sutherland's comment did not generate any direct responses, as they would have in a traditional classroom. Of course, since forty messages came through on that date, the importance of what he had to say may have slipped by the class, especially since so much activity was occurring in other areas.

More and more students were offering suggestions and comments that lay outside the realm of talking about assignments or feedback, indicating a degree of familiarity. Carl, in response to a comment Sue had made about her job, stated,

There are a FEW places to work out there where everyone gets along and it is not bland-but really really enjoyable to come to work. Maybe that's what your job is turning into now. Enjoy it while it lasts, its rare.

Julie went even further. After reading Melinda's paper about camping, she suggested, "Maybe we can meet up and do it sometime!" Monica, after sending a message trying to recruit the class to join a "zinc program" which no one responded to, tried again.

Class: I did not received any reply after I send this message, I knew all of you are very healthy. I am wondering can all of you do me a favor, just forward this message to your friend. I have to signing up

people by this month, if not I lose $100 which I invest into this product. HELP! Thank You for all your help :->

When no one responded, she let the class know that she harbored no ill will, as she had managed to sign up enough people to make her quota. Rhonda shared her feelings of being overworked,

Hi everyone! I have been neglecting my duties as an English student lately, but don't worry, i have been practicing plenty of in my other classes! Whew! every time i turn around, i have to write another paper about something or the other.

Steve in response to Monica's announcement of an impending vacation wrote,

Oh how lucky you . . . I used to go at least once a year, and my favorite time was during Spring Break. It's when everybody there goes elsewhere, so it's nice and secluded. Gawd how I wish I could go . . . . Oh well.

Little by little each of these messages contributes to the general community of the class. This can especially be seen in the feedback the students began to offer each other.

Feedback

When a student approached the instructor about how to offer better feedback, feeling that all that he could offer was "good," the instructor wrote,

I've posted detailed requirements for assignments and criteria for selecting topics. I and your classmates have posted lengthy messages on the strengths and weaknesses of various students' topics and suggestions on how to develop them. There's a lot you can say to help your students write better papers. If you can't think of anything, you can always ask questions.

In Assignment One feedback consisted mainly of correction. In Assignment Two, the majority of the comments still lean toward correction rather than revision.

Of all the feedback given to Monica, who should have received the most help since she was the least skilled in the class, only Melinda and Julie offered more than corrective comments. Typical responses she received were:

1.     From Steve: I loved it Monica. Especially the part where you and your friends took it upon yourselves to do a little investigating yourselves.

2.     From Sue: THIS IS A GREAT PAPER! GEE, YOU WERE REALLY BRAVE, WEREN'T YOU? HEY, WAIT A MINUTE. MY BOYFRIEND IS SITTING HERE NEXT TO ME, AND HE POINTED SOME THING OUT TO ME THAT I NEVER TOOK NOTICE OF. YOU AND YOUR FRIENDS WERE WAITING FOR MADAM PELE, RIGHT? BECAUSE YOU WROTE MADAM PALI. PALI IS A LOOKOUT.

3.     From Carl: Wow! This IS allot shorter! Excellent details about the trip but I was under the impression that this was about interaction between a group of people . . . . The experience to see the sun rise and the actions you and your FRIENDS take, is what will be really fun to read about.

Julie was one of the few to note organization problems, yet she had no solutions or suggestions. "I think your paper is good, but it felt like I was all over the place reading your paper. Don't get me wrong, your paper is good, I understood it. Try making it a step by step issue and less confusing." Melinda, though, tried to help Monica toward revision by asking a series of questions that would allow Monica to reformulate her ideas.

I WANT TO LEARN MORE ABOUT YOUR FRIENDS HERE. WHY WAS DEBBIE LATE? WHO'S JERRY? WHY DID SEI MEI SUGGEST YOU GO ON YOUR ADVENTURE? TELL ME MORE ABOUT YING YE AND HER COMMUNICATION SKILLS.

Steve received both types of comments. Monica told him to "be sure to include some dialogue and feeling in your paper." Julie commented, "The subject that you chose is terrific. I think that will work out fine. It will be interesting reading about it later." Chris, Melinda, and Sue helped him toward revision by asking a series of questions. They inquired,

Were most of your co-workers your friends also? Did you have anyone in the group that was especially good, bad or unfair. How did the group react collectively to things? How did it affect you? On a side note, did you have to learn some Japanese, working in W.? (Or if you already know japanese, did ownership/ management expect other team members to learn some.

However, when a paper seemed very good in the first place, students reverted to cursory comments. This was the case with Cassandra, one of the better writers in the class.

The comments she received for the most part were corrective in nature. Sue noted, "I THINK YOUR PAPER IS VERY WELL DONE! YOU GIVE GREAT EXAMPLES, WHICH GIVE ME AN IDEA HOW IT IS BEING IN THE PROGRAM. THERE ARE SOME MISPELLED WORDS, SO DOUBLE-CHECK, OK?" Monica added, "You did have nice description between the time differences." Chris, a good writer himself, offered, "I found your story compelling and very insightful. The way that you set up your readers with the background information and lead us on the excitement of those two shifts was very exciting." Melinda was the only student who offered advice, yet she, too, turned to correction over revision,

Your paper really worked out well. I only have two things to say. Number one, you could say how people's personalities reflected how they worked with each other. Number two; you need to run your paper through a spell checker.

Julie only received comments from one peer. Monica wrote, "I read this essay for 3 times very seriously, but I still can not get the main point of your essay. (Maybe someone else have better reading skill then me, can give you some suggestion)."

Melinda received many surface comments. Cassandra commented, "The introductory paragraph is very good and it arouses interest…. The concluding paragraph, however, does not sound very coherent." Rhonda noted, "THE SECOND AND THIRD SENTENCES HERE NEEDS SOME WORK. YOU MIGHT INTRODUCE THIS PARAGRAPH WITH A SENTENCE THAT SAYS: THE OTHER TRIP WHICH STANDS OUT IN MY MIND IS THE ONE MY FAMILY TOOK LAST THANKSGIVING." Sue added, "IT'S A GREAT PAPER. Steve was the only student who stepped in and offered advice to aid in her revision process,

Could you describe a little more in detail what exactlly you guys did. I know it would put me more in the Big Island mood. Again this is just a suggestion 8-. Hmmm, what does the trip have to do withg this one. I was getting caught up in it and then. Ah well I'll read on and find out. Ahh, it's a comparison. You should put that as a part of your thesis, statement. Or is it already there . . .? If there were a way to suggest to you that, maybe you could do a whole trip and then the next and then compare the two, I would suggest it. I haven't got a clue to how that would work, so, I'll leave it at that.

Here, despite the instructor's claim of "lengthy messages on the strengths and weaknesses of various students' topics and suggestions on how to develop them," much of what is being offered does not necessarily lead toward student revision, nor does it seem to lend itself as a model for offering effective feedback.

Encouragement

Chris, in response to Cassandra's discussion about a failure, wrote, "Don't beat youself up; its human nature for everyone." Monica wrote slogans such as, "GOOD LUCK ON THE PAPER!" Melinda noted to a non-participant who was having a hard time with the class, "Don't feel too bad." Julie offered support to the same student. Steve went out of his way to be encouraging, going so far as to remark, "I hope I was of some help, and encouragement."

Revelation

Just as students started displaying a more familiar tone in their messages to each other, they began to reveal more details about themselves that may not have normally come out in a regular classroom.

While most of these were not overly intimate, as when Steve revealed his overuse of chatlines, they did portray more aspects of each student. After Shane's comment, Robert indicated his overindulgence of chatting. Melinda had her own family story to share about her father and his discovery of the Internet.

I think of my father who when we first got connected spent his time browsing, looking at sites about roaches and trying to figure out just how easy it was to access porn. (Now he spends his time reading book reviews and visiting the CNN site.

When the talk of the group turned to work, Melinda reflected, "I always ended up being VP or god forbid secratary when I really wanted to be president." Sue contributed information about the place where she worked, "My job site is in the K. area, near to the Office Depot and Fisher stores." Carl told the group, after discussing his position as the manager of a sports store, "I hired my wife! (Unknown to me at the time!)" Later, Julie shared a great deal about her life and family; she recounted that she had two brothers, had been in a restaurant business with her husband, but that it failed because it was too much work, that she had attended school in Las Vegas, and she "registered just in time into CC and now I am majoring in Pre-Nursing. I am now going to the Community College as a full time student." Melinda again turned to a narrative about her family, in this case, her mother:

It's always different when you work for someone you have a relationship out of work. Whenever i help my mother out at work I'm much more likely to criticize her. I say things like "you know that this isn't in the job description. You can't have someone you pay working on something like mailing newsletters for an outside group." or when she starts to hover I roll my eyes and tell her to get off my back. I don't mean that just because I critcize her I don't think my mum is wonderful. In fact, I now think she is crazy and capable of doing alot now that I have watched her work.